Monday, December 14, 2009

Hitchhiker's guide to Hyderabad

my worst fears are realized....all dese time surrounded wid great friends i always maintained this hope that maybe I am not a loner after all....

but guess what...i am such a hardcore self absorbent bitch!!!

on the lieu of some cool sounding research project, it is my first getaway to Hyderabad...all family, no friends...just me and me..

I as usual stocked up my laptop and novels scared that I will be totally bored away frm ppl i kno...

well novels stayed untouched and most of da movies in lappy still to be seen and my trip is goin to end in 5 days...

I am soo much in love with myself that I lose myself everyday to this city to find a tired me at the end of the day.....I am finally a hitchhiker ....

I dare me to explore, I treat me, I flirt wid me(not in gayish sense!!!!!!!), I fight wid me and den again reconcile....

losing and finding me in this small by lanes and to visibly revolting street food...may surely hurt my tummy in coming days...but who cares..!!!

But apart from me dis city has been hugely exciting....and hence i would like to list some my views about Hyderabad!!!!

(**My critical views should not hurt ny hyderabadi...dey are meant to be taken as fun...and even if dey do...u dunt kno my name :D .... so u cant even sue me!! :P)

1> Whole world is troubled abt Telengana...but hyderabadis dunt even care...dey r happy go lucky long as Biriyani is dere...dey as well stay in Africa!!!

Only difference it makes to me is i cant crack my joke like:

Q> What does Hyderabadis drink??

A> AP Fizz :D

That was funny....okk dat wasnt funny...but people who found it funny lemme kno!!! ur r my tru fans!!!

2> Now lets study English.... when the word "Footpath" was used to define those thin elevated side of the road...dey had some meanin...

'foot' as in ur leg....human leg, should traverse that 'path' if it was meant for motorbikes...dey could have called it 'wheelpath' isnt it??? u see da difference!!!

3 >Now in any normal part of world a TAXI can carry 6 ppl at most comfortably......but if a tractor size auto is carrying 10-11 ppl comfortably(ummm!!!) wats da point of calling it MINI TAXI.... 11>6...get it!!!

4> The best ppl to bargain with is the auto walas.... 1st day to go to Ameerpet... I said '80' so agreed on '90'...

next day I said '60' so dey agreed on '70'

gues wat...3rd day i said '40'..dey agreed on '45'

I tried '20' da guy gave me dirty glance!!!!

5> Guess the most common shop in Hyderabad....obviously its not medicine shop...i rarely found is ...tada...liqour shop....aka 'WINE' shop( thou they mite not keep wine)

each gully has atleast 2 liqour shops....

I stay at a place called there is a Bar flanked my 2 wine shops on both!!!

6> Now i kno prostitution is bad, immoral, unethical and blah blah...but apart from that can anyone tell me how come dere r hookers on streets at 7 in the evenin....dammit....its just evenin...not even night....even there are kids in the park

Chandra Babu thout abt a gr8 idea for a cheap theme park at NTR gardens....but let us poor mortal souls rest in the cool breeze of Hussain Sagar rather than constant pestering from veiled scary!!!

7> Now I have to admit I am impressed by the bus service here...but i am greatly annoyed by da way conductor asks fr case u dont kno...every state conductor has a unique ticket calling tone....dats how dey recognize each other at Annual National Bus Conductors Meet...

well here dey was is "tiickkeetsssssssssssssss......." and dat ssss continues till u get frustrated and feel like peeing....

warnin....never board bus here if u feel like peeing....chances of a dry pant are very less :|

8> Comin back to auto walas....its funny that no auto wala here knos da places properly...hw to recognize....welll

if the autowala doesnt knos da place u told...he will give to dude-are-we-both-in-the-same-city look!!!

and if he knos...back 2 steps..coz he gets soo excited dat he as well hug u and cry!!!

9> telegu is an easy me....i had a conversation wid an autowala in telegu fr whole 10 mins....thankfully...."hmmm"(wid a deep grunt) and laughing out same fr all languages...I kept doin it alternatively...coz he was so excited talkin wid me...i dint had da heart to tell i had no idea wat he was talkin abt!!!

10> I love the cyber cafe here!!! dey are a big room wid small cubicles a wid door...only thing missing inside is some tissues and lube..... :P

u can actually listen people grunting in some cubicles....and if u come across someone else while reachin ur cubicle...i get da luk "dude...y u need a book if u r goin to watch porn"

nobody believes me dat i actually need net for my project work!!! :(

well always wash ur hands after u use those cyber cafe keyboards!!!!

11> anoder great place is da tea cafe here on every road corner!!! wid dere over priced and over sweet tea and allowed smoking inside...dey are my ideal couch fr day!!!

but in these past 10 days I fell in love wid this bitter sweet hyderabad!!!

and for da rest 5 days of my stay here....hyderbad!!! entertain me!!! :)

"To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone"

-Bob Dylan