Friday, December 12, 2008

Chicken Soup for the Terrorist's Soul


Terrorists.....thou not one of my favourite terms but most definitely one of the amusing terms....

Funny they are!!! Wat kind of ranks they mite have.....Asst.Terroriser, Terror commander,even...Terror-in-chief

The recent terror attacks on Mumbai had left many baffled,including me(thou the electrical machines paper da next day ws more terrifying)...but throughout a question lingered in my mind...

All through the last decade Kolkata....has been mysteriously kept out of the attacks.....why???


means cummon....arent we worthy enuf to come on national television for whole day???

dunt we want Barkha Dutt to jump around the stage praising our Kolkataites spirit??...ok i kno we dunt have any...but still...

and shudnt our very own Buddha da given a chance to quit as CM....man!! he looks 
so tired???

But no...nobody wants to terrorise us.....nobody.....ok!! Mamata Bannerjee tries sometimes.....but not upto the mark!!

So in order to improve our Terror Tourism....i would like to introduce my quick look list...dat shud be handy to Lafter-e-Tauba or Deccan-Mujrahidden(cmmn...even dat IPL team wd similar name faild miserably...think of sumthin better nxt time)

So I sincerely urge terrorists to go through my list to top 5 places that should be a
nd shouldnt be targeted if they plan to attack us:

Top 5 places to be attacked:

5>Indian Museum: Yes!! dats the one place we suggest every tourist to visit.....but
 believe me...we never visit it ourselves.....even dat forsaken mummy inside the museum is sometimes found boozin in park street...so wats da pointof having it.....blast it off!! atleast it will 
help to open up few more much required pubs...


4>Mamata Baneerjee's Residence:no no dont worry.....she wont bite you....but be careful not to get caught....all she needs to do is yell

3>Abandoned Tata factory: thou the Singur battle is long over.....nd tatas got new land in gujrat...Mamata-di got tha vote bank.....and CPM got nothin....never mind...dey never get nythin...did nyone cared to demolish the factory fr which all dis took place...so i urge da terrorist
 to do dis gud work


2>Lalbazar: translated to "Red Market"....no no...it isnt some cheap 'whore house' i m talkin abt....its actually da kolkata police HQ...yea nt much difference...i knw it.....pls blast it...atleast wil giv dem an excuse fr non perfo
rmance..

1>Writer's Building: coming close second to CIA headquarters...its a place that has mystified people for long...nobody knows 
what happens inside it...not even the people inside....and everyone is confused why its is even named so...nobody writes anything inside it afterall....





Top 5 places not to be attacked:


5>central park:well also known as lover's park......i seriously dunt have ny qualms against it....bt da point is u wont get ny free "jhari ke peeche" to hide ur RDX...its either booked by hopeless lovers....or sadists watchin those hoepless lovers...so dunt waste ur time....

4>Metro Railways: if ur sooo interested in stppin transport system...why dunt jst call a bandh...wats da point of all dis blast nd fanfare....learn fr we bongs sometimes.....

3>Alipore Zoo: recently da last two stray dogs caged inside posing as white tigers also broke out....i think its da only zoo in da world lovd by maneka gandhi....so wats da point of blasting it off....

2>Nandan:Dare u do it....ass hole....da only place i can watch movies in Dev Anand ke
 jamaane ke rates....if u do it.....i promise i will put u in 2 bak 2 bak screenin of Karzzzz....

1>Jyoti Basu's Residence: Haha!!!....fools .....he is 94 and even Mamata Banerjee cudnt kill him.....u seriosly wanna waste ur Ammo...


P.S If ur wondering why i m such a moron....it makes 2 of us...

3 comments:

biswajit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the second face said...

keep it random...!!! :)

debarati said...

amazing..... :)