Thursday, August 14, 2008

Here I Am !

"The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love. "

--Don Barthelme

So its 1 year nd countin.....

1 year of initial awkwardness....1 year of standin in line for loo bettin which will come out first....da guy in da toilet or.....errrr leave it.....

1 year of transporting literally afternoon shit thru oesophagus...havin hope dat things will change one day.....
1 year of sneakin into night canteen widout frnds knowledge....nd burnin tongues wid hot Maggi....
1 year of rushin collge wid swollen eyes...nd promisin oneself....2morow i m gonna wake up early......
1 year of losing da privilege 2 change pants behind close doors.....

but after things did change......abt 365 days ago.....i was da guy who went to bed eagerly by now coz he had to catch his train next day to go home for weekend...for da very 1st time....he was super excited....he planned his 2 days of exile......he lived every moment of it.....

but 2day in da darkness of da nite...1 year nd numerous weekend at home later.....he is a bit reluctant 2 go bak to home dis weekend.....
he is bit reluctant to leave late day sleep of da cumin weekend.....he is reluctant to leave his internet connectivity(thou its shitty!!!) nd downloading movies frm LAN......

he will miss his weekend dining out.....nd surely being wid his frnds 24X7......

so this guy thinks.....is it da change he was sure will never come.....is it da beginnin of his tru adulthood....his true independence.....time....wen he will come out of dat unseen cocoon of teenager to be all alone in da facing race of life wid eagerness.....or is it being da selfish guy who will leave behind his past, his parents in his race of adventure, stunt of friendship....

is he losin his past or is he gainin a new future.....

why i dunt feel those butterflies in my stomach which i felt 1 year i ago.....i see dat same guy in mirror...am i grown up....or i m trying to be....or am i avoiding to be.....

its been 1 year of every damn thing.....but it has been da best 1 year of my life......i found my direction.....i found my friends.....i found my most precious gift of my life....which i intend keepin all my life....if da gift intends to bear wid me.....

So here i am today wat i intended to be yesterday!!

2 comments:

debarati said...

life is an endless process......it will go on and in every state u will change ur configuration......its better to enjoy all these stages of lyf.......

everyone is growin up.....becomin independent.....and it means u will have to leave few things.....we cant hold everything togather with us.....
we will have to leave few things back our childhood,parents(at times),frnds for our betterment..

if that gift is so precious for u then never let it go....its on u....believe me....dat gift will surely bear with u at every step of ur lyf

Dharmaj said...

What is that gift ? some hint ?